whassup

Hey. Missed you.

I have not posted in a while because things have been happening way too fast round here. I meant to use this as a journal, hoped to use it daily. Here it is thursday & not posted any this week. Oh well. I have applied to University of Phoenix for my bachelor's degree, too old & too smart not to have letters behind my name. I am currently in the process of doing my Fafsa application. Yay.

I really hope to be out of my current job within the next couple of years; it's getting to where I really can't stand it. Phones suck.

Anyway, off to grab a bite before church where I attempt to teach screaming rugrats (2 & younger) about Jesus.

Tee Hee :)

Pulled this out of my work email when cleaning it out; we are switching from Microsoft Outlook to Lotus Notes. (aiiiiii my eyes!!!)

TOP BUMPER STICKERS EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE

1) The proctologist called, they found your head.

2) Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have any film.

3) Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date.

4) Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

5) I used to have a handle on life; then it broke off.

6) Some people just don't know how to drive. I call them "Everyone but ME".

7) Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them.

8) Try not to let your mind wander, it's much too small & fragile to be out by itself. (had a T-shirt with this that got defiled by my cat & had to throw it away, snif..)

AND THE NUMBER ONE BUMPER STICKER YOU'D LIKE TO SEE.....

Welcome to America. Now Learn English.

Well, @#&.

Here we go again. We just barely got grandmother out from under Katrina & here comes Rita up the Gulf o'Mexico, heading for the LA/TX border. Grandmother's getting rain bands now in Hattiesburg; my sister is unable to get hold of her with the Tracfone we got her, even with the ringer turned all the way up. This means it is either plugged up in the kitchen where she can't hear it, or she's asleep and can't hear it.

Damn.

UPDATE

He signed for it. Have yet to hear a peep. Thought he would send a scathing phone message at least but I guess not.

Oh.My.Gawd. UPDATE

Check #1228. Signature confirmation. (means since it's addressed to HIM, only HE can sign for it. Can't tell me he never got it cause I will shove the confirmation in his rude old-fart face.)

Heh.

Oh. My. Gawd.

Just got a letter from my ex-father in law; grandad of Dudeboy. In order to understand this particular post, you must know some background.

Dudeboy's grandfather graduated summa cum laude from Georgia Tech with a degree in chemical engineering; he worked for Dupont for 30+ years. Paw (as we will call him) once went in with my parents to buy me a car when I was married to his son. He LABELED all the hoses with dates changed, what kind, and when to change them again. He also put a notebook in the glovebox for a gas mileage log. At the time I was 22 friggn years old & had a new baby, I had no time for that kind of thing. He was offended when I didn't use the log and even more so when hoses were not changed out on time.

Anyway, Dudeboy had visited them earlier this summer, and a pair of Paw's shorts were put in Dudeboy's bag by mistake. Maw (Paw's long-suffering wife) called me and asked to have them mailed back. You see, they couldn't waste the money on gas to drive to my house or my work to come get them. I of course having a life of my own forgot to do this. Maw called again about 3 weeks later, I forgot again.

Today, I receive in the mail a letter from Paw, the text of which is Fisked below.

Maw tells me that she has asked you twice during the last couple of months to return the two walking shorts, size 34, that she mistakenly packed in Dudeboy's bag after his delightful visit with us.

Ass. I told Maw that there were 2 pair in the bag, both the same olive green color, & I was not sure which pair were Paw's.

She further says you agreed to return them via mail. To this date, we have not received them so I make an additional request that you do so soon. Her oversight has caused me to use some fairly decent ones as work apparel and they are now practically worn out.

Hello. Target & Wal-Mart have shorts for about 10bucks. Idiot.

Please honor our requests for return. Should you furnish the cost, we will reimburse you.

There is another paragraph noting how sweet Dudeboy is and how it is a real pleasure to have him over, & how they want to maintain contact, & etc. etc. Jerk.

I am returning the two pair of shorts I believe are his with a letter containing this text: (and treated it like a business letter, by gum):

Dear Sir:
It is with increasing surprise and incredulity that I read your letter of September 16 2005.Enclosed please find the articles of clothing referred to in said letter; since it appears you do not have the necessary funds to buy another pair, enclosed please find $20.00. This will assist you in acquiring more; you will then not have to badger me the next time they are mistakenly put in my son's bag.

Sincerely,
Grasshopper

Fellow needs to understand I am not the frightened young woman his son impregnated 16 years ago; next time he and I meet, it may not be pleasant. I am not afraid of him anymore.

For people that are whining about the government not moving fast enough on Katrina

Check out this link that compares the flooded area of New Orleans with a comparable area in the city of Nashville.
http://www.condobuzz.com/new-orleans-flood.php?img=nashville&city=Nashville

Hell, the forecast of a couple inches of snow shuts this place down; imagine what this would do.

Like sands thru the hourglass....

My family is very interesting. Makes me wonder if anyone else has a family full of black sheep and not just one.

My sister and I have each been married 3 times. My brother has been married twice. My sister's ex-husband who shall be henceforth known as Father of the Year seems to live to make up stuff to make her life miserable. There shall be forthcoming posts on that topic.

My first ex, father of Dudeboy, has fallen off the face of the earth and will be put in jail when he is found due to the violation of court order charges I and the State have filed against him. (He currently owes me approximately $25,000 in back child support. The last check I got from him was when Dudeboy, who is now 16, was 2.)

My second ex, father of Princess, and his family are the people Jeff Foxworthy uses for "You might be a redneck if..". My ex mother in law has truck tires painted robins-egg blue surrounding flowerbeds in her yard. My ex father in law used to bring home 2 cases of beer on Friday night & proceed to literally drink one beer per hour before he left on Monday morning to drive his long distance rig.

I am not making this up.

Anybody else got a story like that that they have lived to tell about?

** ... and if you know the tagline above, you're either older than I thought or you watch waaaay too much TV.

Dang, I'm tired.

Up til 1am last night after the fair; made the mistake of drinking a 32oz caffeinated beverage at about 8pm which wired me for sound. Had to get up at 6am for work, didn't completely wake up all day. Bedtime; otherwise I will be worthless tomorrow. G'night.

Fair Blogging (as in State Fair, cows & such)

Took kidlets, who shall be known henceforth as Dudeboy and Princess, to the State Fair tonight. Dudeboy met several people he knew including #56 on his high school football team and one of the cheerleaders. Princess saw her old music teacher from her elementary school, and we saw friends from church that we just happened to run into. Basically friend has 2 kids, we walked in the entry after paying .98c to get in (promotion from local radio station at, yes, 98FM) & said wouldn't it be cool if they were here. Half an hour later, here they come wandering down the midway.
Bought both kids a wristband for $25.00, which allows you to ride as many rides as many times as you like with the exceptions of the inflatables (the big Titanic blow-up slide thingy) and the bumper boats. I have always been curious how the ticket thing worked. Do they equal out to like a dollar a ticket? If you have worked as a carny & know things like that, leave a comment if you don't mind.

One of the other great things about going to the fair is the incredible sampling of cultures and dress that can be observed just by sitting in a prime location (usually next to the funnel cake/sausages/cotton candy stand, of which there are several). Redneck culture is in high evidence; redneck being defined as girls having on skintight babydoll shirts and jeans or mini-skirts (whether they can get away with it or not) and men wearing sleeveless t-shirts and baseball caps, usually with two or more children in tow. The best one I personally saw was a young woman about 25 years of age wearing a red stretchy tank top and low-rise jeans, with about 50 lbs hanging out between. She did not look pregnant. Try picturing that and going to sleep tonight. In her defense, somebody somewhere told her she looked good in that & that's why she wore it, I'm sure.

Another priceless one was the fortyish redhead with a black stretch tank (what is it with the friggn Tank Tops? jeez..) and a black denim miniskirt with calf length biker boots. There was also the young lady in a just above the knee flowered dress with heels about 4 inches high. Makeup and hair on selected individuals was something to be seen to be believed. Men, on the other hand, were in everything from paint-spattered blue jeans & torn off sleeveless shirts to a couple of bewildered Indian nationals in button-down shirt & tie being shown around by a guy in a polo shirt and khakis.

HELLO. IT'S A FAIR. OUTSIDE. USUALLY HOT. YOU ARE GOING TO BE WALKING. AND SWEATING. Ladies, the makeup will come off, the hairspray will just attract bugs & I'd laugh my ass off as I help you up when you fall off your 4 inch heels. Men, your loafers are gonna kill you at the end of the night unless the shoes are well broken in. However, people like this make my fair experience memorable by their very presence and it would be very boring if they were not there. People watching is really fun.

See, I'm Good

Looky what I did... created a whole bunch of links n stuff, 4 entries already & its only 4 hours old! Awwww, ain't it cute?

(stop me before i throw up on myself, please.. )

Pictures

I know, most everyone is tired of seeing these. But it is personal for me as my grandmother actually rode this thing out in an unsanctioned shelter in southern Mississippi, and is fine.


http://www.wwltv.com/weather/pix/

Rules for Calling Customer Service (my rules, anyway).

1) Have your frigg'n policy number.

2) I don't care how many years you have been an agent. There is no excuse for you to be a condescending asshole.

3) Learn English.

4) If you are not the owner or the person who sold the policy to the owner I CANNOT talk to you. Federal law.

5) If you have a problem, I don't care how pissed off you are. Do not take it out on me. I have very little control over what happens to your policy. If you're the one who didn't pay your bill, who's the idiot?

6) Turn up your damn hearing aid before you call.

7) Just because you faxed it does NOT mean it got here.

8) Do not talk over me. I don't care how much you think you know; you'll miss something if you don't let me finish.

9) Understand that ALL our clients call on Monday. If you don't want to wait, then don't call on Monday.

Welcome to my adventure.

This blog will be a venting spot for me in my job as a telephone customer service representative, as well as my family life which is interesting, to say the least.