Oh. My. Gawd.
Just got a letter from my ex-father in law; grandad of Dudeboy. In order to understand this particular post, you must know some background.
Dudeboy's grandfather graduated summa cum laude from Georgia Tech with a degree in chemical engineering; he worked for Dupont for 30+ years. Paw (as we will call him) once went in with my parents to buy me a car when I was married to his son. He LABELED all the hoses with dates changed, what kind, and when to change them again. He also put a notebook in the glovebox for a gas mileage log. At the time I was 22 friggn years old & had a new baby, I had no time for that kind of thing. He was offended when I didn't use the log and even more so when hoses were not changed out on time.
Anyway, Dudeboy had visited them earlier this summer, and a pair of Paw's shorts were put in Dudeboy's bag by mistake. Maw (Paw's long-suffering wife) called me and asked to have them mailed back. You see, they couldn't waste the money on gas to drive to my house or my work to come get them. I of course having a life of my own forgot to do this. Maw called again about 3 weeks later, I forgot again.
Today, I receive in the mail a letter from Paw, the text of which is Fisked below.
Maw tells me that she has asked you twice during the last couple of months to return the two walking shorts, size 34, that she mistakenly packed in Dudeboy's bag after his delightful visit with us.
Ass. I told Maw that there were 2 pair in the bag, both the same olive green color, & I was not sure which pair were Paw's.
She further says you agreed to return them via mail. To this date, we have not received them so I make an additional request that you do so soon. Her oversight has caused me to use some fairly decent ones as work apparel and they are now practically worn out.
Hello. Target & Wal-Mart have shorts for about 10bucks. Idiot.
Please honor our requests for return. Should you furnish the cost, we will reimburse you.
There is another paragraph noting how sweet Dudeboy is and how it is a real pleasure to have him over, & how they want to maintain contact, & etc. etc. Jerk.
I am returning the two pair of shorts I believe are his with a letter containing this text: (and treated it like a business letter, by gum):
Dear Sir:
It is with increasing surprise and incredulity that I read your letter of September 16 2005.Enclosed please find the articles of clothing referred to in said letter; since it appears you do not have the necessary funds to buy another pair, enclosed please find $20.00. This will assist you in acquiring more; you will then not have to badger me the next time they are mistakenly put in my son's bag.
Sincerely,
Grasshopper
Fellow needs to understand I am not the frightened young woman his son impregnated 16 years ago; next time he and I meet, it may not be pleasant. I am not afraid of him anymore.
Dudeboy's grandfather graduated summa cum laude from Georgia Tech with a degree in chemical engineering; he worked for Dupont for 30+ years. Paw (as we will call him) once went in with my parents to buy me a car when I was married to his son. He LABELED all the hoses with dates changed, what kind, and when to change them again. He also put a notebook in the glovebox for a gas mileage log. At the time I was 22 friggn years old & had a new baby, I had no time for that kind of thing. He was offended when I didn't use the log and even more so when hoses were not changed out on time.
Anyway, Dudeboy had visited them earlier this summer, and a pair of Paw's shorts were put in Dudeboy's bag by mistake. Maw (Paw's long-suffering wife) called me and asked to have them mailed back. You see, they couldn't waste the money on gas to drive to my house or my work to come get them. I of course having a life of my own forgot to do this. Maw called again about 3 weeks later, I forgot again.
Today, I receive in the mail a letter from Paw, the text of which is Fisked below.
Maw tells me that she has asked you twice during the last couple of months to return the two walking shorts, size 34, that she mistakenly packed in Dudeboy's bag after his delightful visit with us.
Ass. I told Maw that there were 2 pair in the bag, both the same olive green color, & I was not sure which pair were Paw's.
She further says you agreed to return them via mail. To this date, we have not received them so I make an additional request that you do so soon. Her oversight has caused me to use some fairly decent ones as work apparel and they are now practically worn out.
Hello. Target & Wal-Mart have shorts for about 10bucks. Idiot.
Please honor our requests for return. Should you furnish the cost, we will reimburse you.
There is another paragraph noting how sweet Dudeboy is and how it is a real pleasure to have him over, & how they want to maintain contact, & etc. etc. Jerk.
I am returning the two pair of shorts I believe are his with a letter containing this text: (and treated it like a business letter, by gum):
Dear Sir:
It is with increasing surprise and incredulity that I read your letter of September 16 2005.Enclosed please find the articles of clothing referred to in said letter; since it appears you do not have the necessary funds to buy another pair, enclosed please find $20.00. This will assist you in acquiring more; you will then not have to badger me the next time they are mistakenly put in my son's bag.
Sincerely,
Grasshopper
Fellow needs to understand I am not the frightened young woman his son impregnated 16 years ago; next time he and I meet, it may not be pleasant. I am not afraid of him anymore.
posted by grasshopper at Saturday, September 17, 2005
<< Home