Found this whilst surfing at lunch.

As we approach the end of 2005, there have been discovered the following truths in life...

10. Life is sexually transmitted.
9. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which to die.
8. Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7. Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Internet and you won't see him for weeks.
6. Some people are like a Slinky.. not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
5. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
4. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
3. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
2. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2005...

1. We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we don't have a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.